I'm natural and I've lost my swag/mojo/confidence

When people tell me they are transitioning I always say the same thing, "The transition is mental, your hair knows exactly what to do." I transitioned years ago in Atlanta, I'm told this is a natural hair mecca and an easy place to go natural. The truth is that I transitioned years earlier in Tallahassee, Florida. I have come to realize without intending I made the mental transition well before I let my hair physically transition. I researched, read blogs, looked at photos and studied styles and techniques. Many of the things I did for two to three years before my hair made any change were what allowed me to be confident with my decision.

Me with straight hair

I often hear new naturals comment with ideas I had banished before I ever braided my hair ( I transitioned with braids). I wish they had made the mental transition before the physical one. I hope they will make the mental transition soon. Making a mental transition includes abandoning some very specific ideas that life, the media and possibly your family have pretty well hammered into you:

• long hair is beautiful hair
• straight hair is beautiful hair
• frizz is the enemy (frizz is the key to a full fro or puff)
• water is the enemy
• oils moisturize
• manageable means can run a comb through easily
• manageable means can be styled quickly
• large loose curl are pretty
• small tight curls are not pretty
• big hair is ugly
• braids, twists and puffs are only for children
• short hair is masculine

No make-up, proud of my first set of mini twists

If you are feeling like men aren't attracted to you because of your hair it is because YOU are not attracted to you because of your hair. I had experiences with men making comments about my hair but most just noted my style or volume. I loved the way my hair looked so I was confident. If I had been in a different place mentally, insecure, anxious, unsure I'm sure I would have taken the comments differently. Men approach me to this day with comments about my hair because it is noticeable, noticeably beautiful.

Car Selfie

So during your transition learn 1) to care for your hair properly 2) to style enough that you can leave the house comfortably 3) to see your beauty outside your hair 4) length does not equal beauty.

I was pregnant with no make-up but my hair was cute.

I have bad hair days, I have bad hair weeks but I know it is a style thing, a weather thing, most often a lazy or lack of time thing. I know that I'm beautiful with a dusty two week old twist out pulled back. 

You don't have to like my hair, I love it enough for both of us

Monica Richards is the co-founder of Knaps and natural hair blogger and vlogger. 

Return of the Curls -Louisville

I was a late arrival at Return of the Curls:Curls Gone Wild in Louisville. I enjoyed the final two hours of the well organized event. The highlights included a men's panel, blogger/vlogger panel, hair industry experts and vendors. I arrived in time for the live styling.

Before

After

There was a live big chop. 

All the live styling was courtesy of Go Natural! Salon and Boutique. 

Sof'nFree Gro Healthy was in attendance with their new Nothing But line giving demonstrations. 

Pure Shea was there with an array of wonderful smelling shea based soaps and scrubs. There will be a location opening in Louisville soon. 

Louisville local vendor Bakeshop Butters was present with her delicious smelling light and creamy shea butters. 

And last but certainly not least Inspiritarts was there with not just beautiful headwraps, headbands and hats but a wealth of knowledge to assist all naturalistas in wearing them in the most flattering way. 

Todays Hair - Protective Updo

Sorry about the poor quality photos

Style: Teyonah Parris inspired updo

Time to Complete: 20-25 mins (on dry stretched hair)

Products Used: Water, BelNuovo Coco Castor Spritz, Qhemet Biologics Grapeseed Oil and Tea Tree Pomade

Tools Used:  brush, rattail comb, 3 ponytail holders/hair ties, bobby pins (lots!)

Reason for style: My hair is getting long and twisting is taking longer and longer,

Lessons Learned: 1) I like updos! 2) I have to wash weekly with an updo because I used some heavy product to smooth edges. 3) Any natural with a pompadour is Janelle Monae :)

 

Return of the Curls: Curls Gone Wild Kentucky Expo

Return of the Curls: Curls Gone Wild Kentucky Expo

Saturday September 14th 2013

Louisville, KY

10 am - 5 pm

@ UofL Student Activity Center

Hosted by Haley Rhine of Derby City Naturals

Tickets are $10 in adv or $15 at the door www.returnofthecurls.com

Mini Twists with time management

I love Girls Love Your Curls. She has the most brilliant and simple ideas. This time management method can work for adults as well as children.



Her girls hair looks gorgeous!

KiddieWraps Review

Lil KnapsGirl ready for bed.

I purchased a KiddieWrap and have no association with the manufacturer or maker.

Product: KiddieWraps Satin Hair wrap (Blue Island Flower)

Size: One size fits most (adult & child)

 Claims: KiddieWraps satin hair wraps can make every hair combing session a pleasant one by making your child's hair more manageable to comb. Our satin hair wraps stays on all night to prevent tangles, split ends and unwanted knots.

Price: $5.99 + $5 shipping

I used the KiddieWrap on loose hair and a cornrow style. LKG's hair was noticeably less dry and tangled when her hair was loose. This is her first foray into head wraps and she is a wild sleeper and was able to "twirl" it off just before dawn the first night. The second night it was backwards when she awoke but still on her head. 

By the time I braided her hair she was used to it and even let me put in on for naps. Her cornrows are not a week old yet and are fairing pretty well.

 Day 2

Day  3

The idea is that a satin bonnet is hidden beneath an attached decorative bandanna  This is proposed to be in case you MUST go out in public. The bandanna serves dual purposes to camouflage the fact hat you are in public in a protective sleep wrap and to help it stay in place while the child sleeps. I really liked the thought and hence my order. My only complaint is that when the wrap arrived it appeared to be assembled incorrectly. The smooth side of the cap was facing out toward the bandanna, not at her hair. I don't know if this was a mistake or intentional but I thought the "slicker" side was to face the hair. In spite of this, the "rough" side of a satin cap is better than dry cotton sheets and pillow cases. Overall, this is a good product for wild sleepers and children, I don't find the cost a deterrent because at this point I've realized you get what you pay for on the protective sleep wrap front. 

What I Learned: Buying multiple cheap sleep bonnets just doesn't make sense if you really use them regularly, spend the money so you can wash it without worry.

Touch my hair...

I know I may be a little late but I had to voice my opinion on the "Touch my hair" exhibit controversy. I know and understand that the ladies involved did this in the spirit of open communication but I have to side with the "protesters". I agree that there should be open dialogue between   people of all ethnicities about one another but I think it should be done on a personal level. I no more expect to have to exhibit my hair to start a discussion than any other part of me that less colorful people find fascinating. Would anyone hold a sign saying, "Yes, you can touch my skin."? 

I am not a hardliner, no natural hair nazi but I don't think having strangers fondle your hair at an exhibition furthers any cause. I have had many people touch my hair of many ethnicities. I have had conversations with them, they asked permission first and I usually touched their hair back because we were discussing hair. 

Lastly, your ignorance is not my problem. As a professional educator I'm off the clock and don't have to teach you about people who have lived in this country with you nearly since its foundation. Your majority privilege is showing when you think all members of minorities MUST have a teachable moment with you because you are interested. Consider the following:

- I don't know you

- I may be tired or unwilling to have a "natural hair moment with you"

- My hair is just as interesting to me as yours it to you

- Maybe a conversation with me would yield more knowledge than a simple pet, pat or touch

I was raised not to touch and be familiar with people unless you have established a rapport, seeing my hair on the street and thinking it is "cool" or otherwise alien is not establishing a rapport. Am I being sensitive?